Jim Lambert for Poet Laureate
Ladies and Gentlemen of the Committee
I come before you today
To nominate Jim Lambert and to
Embellish his resume.
A superior poet laureate
He would most assuredly make.
It is a grave responsibility
He is more than willing to take.
Academia is normally the source
Of most of your nominees.
Usually published poets
With fancy schmancy degrees.
But let us consider Lambert
For the reasons detailed below
He’s a real sore-fingered poetic machine
With loftier places to go.
From humble rural beginnings,
He was raised down on the farm.
Though he attended public schools,
He suffered little apparent harm.
He served in the U. S. Army--
That should be considered a plus.
Although we admit he was drafted
He refrained from making much of a fuss.
While serving in the Army
He met his beautiful wife.
They went from love at first sight
To together for his entire life.
Mr. Lambert has vast experience
In the outside of government world.
He’s played the corporate game for years
Waiting for his talents to be unfurled.
He’s lived all around the country
And what may interest you the most
Is that he’s never had a permanent address
Any where on the eastern coast.
Lambert has no skeleton to hide
That might provoke political attack,
But be advised that he may very well be
A tiny percentage Black.
No forebear of his was ever a cad
And certainly none were schrewish.
One was a Native American lass
And one of the guys was Jewish.
But in these enlightened modern times
We’re certain that you will feel
The fact that he is multi-ethnic,
Just adds to his appeal.
So cast your vote and select this man
Who deserves this lofty position
He’ll find for you the perfect rhyme
And in its best rendition.
Say that you want the rich to have
A massive tax reduction,
He’ll write a poem just for that
It’ll be a voter rhyme seduction.
Perhaps you’ll want to go to war
Whether justified or not
He’ll produce a poem in support
He’ll give it his very best shot.
But if he does not succeed at this
Perhaps butchers a Terza Rima,
Then President Bush, without batting an eye,
Can make Lambert the Director of FEMA.
~ Jim Lambert
Jim Lambert 9/10/05 Used by Permission of the author.
The challenge for November is to nominate yourself for some kind of major award or position. Maybe you will follow Jim Lambert’s example and nominate yourself for Poet Laureate. Maybe, though, you’d rather win a Pulitzer Prize, a place on an Olympic team, the presidency or premiership of your nation, a MacArthur Genius Award or a Nobel Prize. Or perhaps you would like to be named Mother, Father or Grandparent of the Year. Whatever award you dream of winning, write a poem nominating yourself. Your poem might be serious, or it might be tongue-in-check.
Your poem may be in free or formal verse (if you use a form, specify which form it is). Please put your name at the bottom of the poem (note the format used above).
Due to formatting restrictions on the blog, all poems should be left justified. Unfortunately I am unable to publish indentations or shaped poems.
Poems must be in English (due to my lack of skills in other languages), original and property of the poet making the submission. Poems published in books or on the Internet (including Facebook and other on-line social networks) are not eligible. If your poem has been published in a periodical, please include publication data. Poems submitted after the November 17 deadline will not be considered.
How to Submit Your Poem:
Send your poem to wildamorris[at]ameritech[dot]net (substitute the @ sign for “at” and a . for [dot]). Be sure provide your e-mail address. If you want a bio published with your poem should it be a winner, please include put a brief bio below your poem. Submission of a poem gives permission for the poem to be posted on the blog if it is a winner. Due to the fact that I did not get the Challenge posted until November 3, the deadline is November 17, 2012. Copyright on poems is retained by their authors.
© 2012 Wilda Morris
