Nancy
Jesse, a Wisconsin writer, judged the April Poetry Challenge, on the theme of
wildflowers. Here are the two winning poems, along with the judge’s comments on
them.
Trilliums
When
snow melts
in
the deepest shadows
of
our Wisconsin woods,
white
of wild trilliums
takes
its place.
Though
my father understood
the
state has claimed them
as
their own
and
threatens fines
for
anyone who argues,
he
dared every May
to
walk the south forty,
surprising
his
sweetheart
with
a large bouquet
of
spring
offered
in his wide
calloused
hand.
~
Peggy Trojan
First
published in Rav'n
The
judge wrote, “A beautiful tribute to a father now gone, "Trilliums”
celebrates the miracle of spring as it rises, in the form of masses of white
wildflowers, from the “deepest shadows” of snow and winter. The short lines
echo the stem of the trilliums. The line breaks emphasizing the slow revelation
of “showing” details about the man who defied the state in order to surprise
“his sweetheart” (I hope the speaker’s mother— but if not, that
introduces an element of intrigue). This effective use of line, careful choice
of cogent details, and gentle alliteration create a loving portrayal of place
and people.”
NOTE: Since 1978,
trillium are no longer protected by law if they are on your private land;
before that you could be fined or jailed for picking them on your own property.
SECOND
NOTE:
I learned from reading this poem—and checking a couple of dictionaries—that the
plural of “trillium” can be either “trillium” or “trilliums.”
Wild Flower
His
greatest desire
was
to slow the bloom.
The
heart of that hope
lay
with the lingering chill,
the
tardy arrival of spring.
Improbable
that
the blossom should open
early;
he wasn’t prepared.
Sporting
his woolen shirt,
from
the porch he watched
the
new shoot bend and wave
in
the chilly, hillside breeze.
If
only time would hold still.
Then
there was the knock
on
the door, the deputy sheriff
talking
gravely about the boy,
the
young girl, in the speeding car
that
crashed on the sharp bend
of
the old River Road.
“No!”
he answered, “Not mine!”
He
cried out—leading the officer
up
the stairs to the room
where
his flower slept.
There,
the
open window,
the
lace curtains waving in the cold.
~
Judy Galati
The judge said, “This
narrative poem shows a complex interweaving of the metaphoric and literal; the somewhat
ambiguous ending proves mysterious, intriguing, and haunting. The unnamed man
in the opening seems to be cultivating a flower, but the abrupt turn in stanza
six points a reader toward interpreting the flower as a “young girl,” probably
the man's daughter, whom he’d hoped to keep from growing up so quickly into a
woman (“If only time would hold still”). I am not sure if the young girl, as
well as the boy, have died in the end. . . . There’s a surreal quality in this
ending; perhaps the flower was planted in remembrance of the girl, and its
blooming re-creates her death announcement in the memory of the man.
“This
poem shows fine writing — alliteration, extended metaphor, effective line
breaks, skillful manipulation of diction, time, tone and mood, powerful
imagery.
Congratulations
to these two fine poets!
Bios:
Judy Galati (nee Kilby), formerly Judy DePauw, grew up in the
Blue Ridge Mountains of Virginia. She graduated magna cum laude from Northern,
with a major in English and a minor in linguistics. Judy Galati is a published
poet who has received a variety of writing awards in local, state, national,
and international competition. Beyond holding membership in the Illinois State Poetry
Society, and the National Federation of State Poetry Societies, Inc., she is an
active member of Lemont Writers.
Peggy
Trojan lives in the north woods of Wisconsin, and enjoys many different
kinds of spring wild flowers; trilliums, violets, forget-me-nots, cowslips,
columbine and others. Retired from teaching English, she published her
first poem when she was seventy-seven. She has published one full collection,
Essence, and three chapbooks of poetry, Everyday Love, Homefront, Childhood Memories
of WWII, and Free Range Kids, which recently won a first in the Helen Kay
chapbook award. She is a member of the Wisconsin Fellowship of Poetry.
Nancy Jesse has won the
Wisconsin Writers’ Association’s Jade Ring contest in three categories: Poetry,
Fiction, and Nonfiction. She taught English at West High School in Madison,
Wisconsin, and is popular leader at conferences for writers. She has been
published in a number of journals including Midwest Review, Wisconsin People
and Ideas, and Verse Wisconsin. She is a member of the Wisconsin Fellowship of
Poets.
